Mum life, work life, wife life, and well all my life has got me feeling busy of late, and if I am honest at times quite drained. That is exactly what has prompted today’s blog post.
If you have been following along for a while, you’ll know that I am quite a deep thinker, and lately I have been thinking about all of the pressures that the modern-day mother feels. Mothers are under for more pressure than I ever realised… until I was one.
I used to dream of the day when I would have children and be able to go for lunch dates with my friends, read books for hours, cruise into the gym whenever I pleased, cuddle on the couch, and Disney movies in the middle of the day. The reality is that even when I am seemingly doing these things they look and feel far from what I had imagined. What I am actually doing is scoffing down my food, folding washing while the movie is on, and grabbing any chance that my children are occupied to get on top of work or chores. It feels like currently Mothers are expected, and expect of themselves, to be more than they ever have been before. A cook, a cleaner, a taxi driver, up hold a full-time job, keep on top of all the bills, walk the dog, and the list goes on and on. It is as though we have evolved to a point where we can be and do it all, but we are still figuring out exactly how we can achieve it. How do we be all that we want to be whilst still maintaining our balance and our sanity?
Don’t get me wrong, in the beginning I was all about the gooos and the gahhs. The first sits, steps and swims. But then the children changed and so did I! They were less about the mamas and dadas and more about the nos. I couldn’t just pop the sleepy newborn in the pram and go get my shopping done. I found that I was losing my patience, getting cranky and feeling tired. Always rushing them because I had too much on my plate. Not taking the time to explain things, to teach them to tie shoe laces or chew their food properly. I was tired of taking them from place to place, and it all just seemed too hard. The household chores were drowning me, and I felt more and more resentful every time I did them. I felt like a hamster on a wheel with my life just spinning around and around, without actually getting anywhere! What was the point of it all?
This is what I like to call ‘The Mum Burn Out.’ You know, that feeling where you are tired, you feel nothing, and you put simple you are just over it. Its ok, I can almost guarantee that it has happened or will happen to just about every Mother at some point in her parenting journey. Like I said before the expectation is simply too high. Being accountable for other people 24 hours a day 7 days a week is exhausting and overwhelming.
SO what can we do to avoid ‘The Mum Burnout’ or ease when it strikes?
1. Get enough sleep.
2. Eat a healthy and balanced diet.
4. Phone a friend or catch up with your girlfriends.
5. Stop over committing yourself.
6. Get help in whatever way you need.
7. Get out of the house.
8. Spend some time alone.
9. Do something you enjoy just because you want to.
10. Implement a daily routine.
11. Reset your morning and evening routines if they aren’t working for you.
12. Get dressed up. So, most of all today I wanted to remind you to stop, that you don’t have to do everything, and you don’t have to be everyone. Break it down and get back to basics. Simplify your life. All of us have elements of our lives that have grown to be far more complicated then they need to be. Stop living the rat race. Being busy can be extremely addictive but it’s not worth it. Remember the beauty in simplicity and being present with your loved ones. Give them your time. Laugh, smile, watch those movies if you want to. Just enjoy your now and set aside those expectations.
Lots of love!
Love your blog Natalie. You’re doing a great job, mama! Did you know I’ve built Birth & Baby Village in Noosaville to support mamas just like you from pregnancy, through birth preparation like Calmbirth and into new mothering with breastfeeding support group, discussion groups about the realities of life with babies, parenting and relationship workshops to keep couples on track when life gets super busy with children. I’ll invite you to our launch and would love to show you around our beautiful space. Love from Karen Shlegeris xo
I would love that Karen. Send me a Facebook message or email x